I became a mum at 22. I think I had my girl at the perfect age. For some, it would be the best age to explore and discover the world and the best time to build up your career. But I was one of those who would like to experience my life to the fullest. Therefore I didn’t give up on my baby for my career, so I went on board with both. I was expecting to be dressed up with makeup and looking polished and cuddling a giggling baby. But in reality, it was completely different. Not only I didn’t have time to get dressed, even worse I was living in my comfy clothes for the first 2 and 1/2 years of being a mum. But I’ve never regretted the decisions I have made because they didn’t put me off anything. Instead, it encouraged me to strive forwards to being a better mum and provide my daughter with better education by doing my best.
I hold a Travel and Tourism degree, and I initially choose to take a degree in travel and tourism is because travelling is one of my favourite hobbies. Travelling is something that I would do once or twice a year, depending on my financial status. Funny that my Travel and Tourism Degree did not get me anywhere as I could not find the position that I like within the field. Firstly it is my physical appearance, and secondly, it is my family situation. I may be too short to be an air hostess, and my partner did not like the idea of working away from home or working outside the usual working hours, such as 9 am-5 pm. So I found a job that fits those conditions, but the position didn’t suit my interests or what I call a dream job. Then, I found out that I was expecting a baby around 12 months of being employed. It was such great news for my family and me because the baby will be the first grandchild for my family.
Soon after I quit my full-time position, I started a hospitality business. I was in the 2nd trimester because I want to give my daughter the best support. After a few months of struggling with two roles in my hand, I was extremely exhausted while my girl was growing up and needed more attention and her living expenses also increased. So it is a conflict whether if I want to be a full-time mother or a full-time boss. I could not handle it anymore, so I put the business on sale and started an online business. Soon I realised that my online business wasn’t making enough for us to survive solely on it. Therefore our loving baby’s father decided to start part-time work every afternoon to earn a little extra to support us. We have done an excellent job overall, but again I became so exhausted as I was falling back into where I was, having no time for myself and taking both roles into my hands. This time we decided that it’s time for our daughter to start daycare, so I can have a few days off to enjoy myself and do more work during the period that she’s at her daycare.
Our happy family life only lasted four years, as we both have our own goals to achieve. He wasn’t very please that I have my own goals that I would want to accomplish because a mother should only be relaxing by staying home and do all the housework and take care of the baby.
At that very moment, I knew I had to move on with my daughter on my own.
I refuse to raise my daughter as one of those Disney princesses by feeding her mind with the fact that only a prince can save her. I will raise her in any way that she feels confident about herself. She can be anybody who wants to be a princess in a firetruck, no problem. The first step I have to do is to become a role model for her. I work hard towards my dream, taking care of her.
I enjoyed every moment of my life, whether when I was a wife, a mum, and now a solo mother. I take every little piece to the fullest, even when I am on my ups and downs. After going through all the ups and downs, I am now even more confident and seeing a clearer vision of myself and my career. The most important of all is, do not get sidetracked by all the negative voices. I don’t owe any explanations to anybody.
Listen! Whether you are experiencing the struggle or going through the ups and downs in life, it’s ok because we all do at different times.
Remember to stand up for yourself, do your best and believe in yourself.
Don’t give yourself too much pressure because everything happens for a reason. Just listen to your guts, follow your heart and take your brain along. I can’t guarantee that everyone will be proud, but you will be proud of yourself. Dr Seuss said, “Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away!”